There is a specific comment that I often see on support groups for Postpartum Depression and Postpartum Anxiety. It goes something like this: "I don't know who I am anymore." Moms especially often feel like they've lost their identity after having a baby. They don't have time for a lot of things they used to enjoy, and they feel like they are completely consumed by the never-ending needs of their new baby. Well, I have some good new for you: Experiencing this feeling of loss of identity as a mother or father, as uncomfortable as it can feel, offers a wonderful opportunity to see who you REALLY are, who you have been all along.
Your true nature, the deepest and truest you, is an extension of the ultimate source of love and creativity that gave birth to and continues to breathe life into the universe. Let that settle in for a moment. That divine entity (and therefore the real you) is an ever-present source of infinite love, hope, peace, and strength. And yes parents, I do mean that last one. Infinite strength. Not only is this true self ever-present, but it is always gently guiding you in the direction of your true nature.
How can I sum this up in a nutshell? You my friend are good. You are love. You are peace. You are strength.
No matter what thought or feeling floats across your field of awareness, nothing can change who you are. No matter how dark the depressive feeling, no matter how heinous the thought, nothing can change who you are.
Do you realize what this truth gives you and me? It gives us freedom. It gives us a gigantic go-ahead to live from our hearts and to follow our guts. It also gives us a strong directive to not worry about or waste time on thoughts and feelings that don’t fit with our true nature. They will pass, because that's what thoughts and feelings do. Because we are irrevocably connected to wisdom, it will always shine through if we endure the tension of letting chaotic thoughts and feelings pass. It's a guarantee.
You see we were designed to live at ease. Now I don’t mean that we were designed to never experience pain. But we were designed to live whatever life gives us, even the hardest things, with confidence, ease, and grace because we are so securely grounded in who we are and the infinite source of love and goodness that holds us. What’s the key in that statement? It is knowing who we are.
This is your design. It is your birthright. And therefore, it is completely accessible to you no matter where you are right now, what you’ve been through, or what anyone else says about you. So instead of focusing on the thought that says that you've lost who you are, maybe try considering the possibility that you never really knew, and that you are gently being led to find out. Try letting that old stale thought pass, and wait for a new one to show up.