Who do you want to be?
What do you want in this life that is so tiny in one sense and absolutely everything in another?
What do you want?
Do you ever ask that question?
Do you dare?
Many of us do not because we believe that we are currently living the only way, the only thing possible.
To imagine or hope for anything else is just painful
It feels like some sort of sad, mocking joke
"I'd like to be a marathon runner..."
And immediately the mind chimes in, "Reah right! You could never keep that up. You'd quit after one week!"
That's what my mind often sounds like anyway.
But I’m starting to ask those questions for the first time anyway.
Let me tell you why
It’s because I am seeing for the first time that anything is possible in this life
I don’t have a fixed personality
I don’t have a predetermined set of gifts or skills that I have to stick to
There is no "right" path and no "wrong" path
No external “Universe” or god to oblige
So yes, I am thinking about what I want for the first time
Here, let me tell you what I’ve come up with so far:
I want to be BOLD
I want to be a successful creator (writer, to be specific)
I want to be healthy AND sexy (for as long as that’s an option)
I want to be FUN
I want to rock people's boats and not give a damn
There. I think it’s a good start.
I like it. It feels good.
My mind isn’t quit so supportive of most of these things however.
In fact, it regularly projects an entire world of imaginary problems onto the screen of my consciousness.
It’s my mind’s best trick to steal my energy and attention and keep me in the comfortably familiar state that that I am used to.
And it has been really effective for a long time
Its projections are so intense, that it often feels like I can barely see through them to what is really going on.
But you know what’s funny?
I always can.
See through the projections, that is.
So there is really nothing holding me back.
And I am finished with the endeavor of solving the made up problems of my mental world.
I want to start building and creating in the real world instead.
Building the person I want to become
Building a life that I am proud of
Creating things where the beauty and intelligence of Life can be publicly displayed through ME
Nothing real or solid is holding me back
The sky is the limit.
So here I go…
Just wait and see